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| It's been a while so I thought I would update everyone on what's been going on. I've been learning so much and growing and it's amazing how fast everything is happening. One thing I realized the other day is that I have never been very good at reading my Bible. First, I don't read it on a consistent basis and second, I don't know how to read it. I'll just flip it open and start turning pages until I find something. This isn't always a good way to go about it, because you miss a whole lot. I started reading Acts, and even though there was some good stuff in there, I was just having a hard time really getting into it. The other day I talked to Angela and told her I was going through a rough time and was dealing with some temptations and wanted her to pray for me and she said she would and told me to read either James or Peter. I flip open to James and the first few verses get me excited. I read the whole book and then reread and meditated on a few different passages. It was exactly what I needed to read and it got me really excited. At one point, I was reading and was so overcome by joy that I had to stop and praise Jesus. I felt him in the room with me and it was the most incredible experience. All I could say is "You are good" and "I love you" I've been seeking a closer relationship with Him, and that happened last night. So yay for good friends who know the Word and can pass it along.
Also I need people to pray. I can't say anything else. Just pray and ask God to bless the situation that I'm thinking of (He's all knowing - He will know what it is)
Other than that, nothing else really exciting has been going on...just living the life of a college kid...being broke, going to class, hanging out with friends.
So peace out for now ;)
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| I had a dream about a week ago and I need some help interpreting it. I'm sure it's significant and I know some of it but there are still parts I'm confused about. So here goes:
I was on a boat with Casey and Wendy (the pastors of Amy's church) and my friend Ben and we were diving and catching fish. The fish we were catching were white and they were flat. I remember asking "where are we" and Ben told me "were in the Arctic Ocean" and i was like "Alright" lol. So Ben was training me how to catch these fish. To do so, you had to grab this other fish that was black and white and had stingers on it and you had to stun the fish you wanted to catch otherwise it would attack you I guess. The reason we wanted to catch these fish is because they were cold and hungry. After Ben teaches me, we catch a few and bring them up to the surface. Their eyes had a dirty film covering them so we took off the dirty covering (which was brown) and put on clear contacts (doing this was supposed to warm them up somehow although I'm not sure how) Then we brought them onto the boat and once they got on the boat they turned into people. There was one male and 2 females. At one point Casey, Wendy, and Ben leave me alone and the women just sit there but the man keeps trying to lay his head in my lap and I keep scooting away from them. Until they come back and we make sure the "fish" are fine before we release them back into the ocean.
Now the parts I understand are Casey and Wendy represent Godly leadership and It's obviously about ministry (fishers of men) I think the eye thing has to do with either literally healing the blind or spiritually showing them the truth and allowing them to see. I don't know why Ben is the one answering the questions and training me because we don't have a ministry together. We do talk about spiritual things from time to time and have similar view points so maybe that's why he was the one training me. Ben talked to Casey about the dream a few days ago and he said the Arctic represents a hard place and that whatever ministry this is won't be easy.
Anyway, that's all I've got on it right now, if you find anything else then let me know!
peace out
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| Last semester sometime, I had a dream that is very significant. In the dream, I was at a church camp and there were a bunch of people my age sitting around a campfire singing praise and worship, they were raising their hands, dancing around, speaking in tongues, the whole 9 yards. In the dream I was sitting back, not singing, just observing the other people, and it's like I could see through their act. They looked like they were really worshiping, but I could see that it wasn't real worship. (Meaning they were doing everything right on the surface but I could see that their hearts weren't genuine)
I began praying in the dream, screaming out to God that I want real worship saying "its not real, God, I want you, I won't do what they are doing until I know it's for real"
In my dream I was screaming this out at the top of my lungs, and it was so intense that it woke me up. After I woke up, I began praying and asking God to reveal himself to me more and in a way that I would know it was real.
At the time, I was I guess you could say upset because I think I'm like the only person in my church that can't speak in tongues. But I have vowed not to do so unless I know it's from God. I could fake it, sure, but I don't want to. I felt a sort of pressure from people because I couldn't (and still can't). but it's okay. God hasn't given me that gift yet, and he may never, but I'll be okay with that.
Anyway, all that is in the past and not really where this post is going, but it's background for what I really wanted to say. I've been thinking alot recently about denominations within the Christian faith. Personally, I think they are absolutely pointless and should be done away with. I think as long as we all worship the same God, that should be all that matters. We may worship in different ways, but the core of our passion would still be the same - the love of the Father. How is it that I have friends that are atheist and respect me for my beliefs, but some Christians I know will scoff at me because I take communion differently than they do?
Why can't we just all realize that God is all that matters. Why can't we just read the Bible and focus on the major aspects and not worry about the petty little details.
A song by Misty Edwards says: "I don't wanna build castles in the sand, I don't wanna live in a fairy tale, I want what's real, the knowledge of you."
This should be what we want. Don't build your foundation on anything but what's in God's word, and don't live in this happy little Christian bubble. Search for what's real - Father, Son, Holy Spirit. That's all that matters, seek a relationship with Jesus. Jesus will let us know what needs to be changed and He will show us how to change. He will give us grace when we mess up and He will reveal Himself to us if we are willing to listen.
Anyway, that's all for now, let me know what you think :)
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| So, I've been thinking about this for a while and I finally decided to write it.
Now, keep in mind, it's now 4:00 AM and I'm a little out of it right now, so this may not make sense, but I'm going to try anyway.
Since it's now officially the "Christmas Season" I thought I would share my thoughts on this holiday. First off...I love Christmas, I love the cold weather and the twinkle lights, and seeing my family. But recently Christmas has been commercialized.
The first thing most people think of when they hear the word Christmas is presents and shopping...not the birth of Jesus.
Up until about two years ago, Christmas was my favorite holiday, but it changed, and I'll tell you why later.
Before that I would like to share something I thought of the other day. I was driving around, flipping through the radio channels. I flipped to 103.3 and heard Christmas music...it was one of those "modern" songs where they just sing about the fuzzy warm feeling people get at Christmas and about being with the ones you love. And even though I only heard a few notes, it gave me chills because it felt so hollow and empty. Modern Christmas songs always make me feel like that...lonely and depressed....I know it sounds weird, but I think it's because of what is missing...Jesus. They sing of being with a significant other and mistletoe. I've been with significant others during the holidays, and for me...I'm kind of looking forward to not having one this year.
Christmas is not about toys or significant others...it's about Jesus and about family...after all Jesus was born into a family on that day. So this holiday, I'm looking forward to being with my family and having no other distractions. The freedom I feel this Christmas is overwhelming. I still love the old classic Christmas songs. But since the holiday has been commercialized, the modern songs reflect this, and thus feel empty and lonely.
But enough of my rant...I promised to tell you my new favorite holiday
And that is Easter.
Two years ago, I went to Harvest for the Easter service and it was absolutely amazing...it hit me that year what Easter is really about. Jesus rose from the dead after he died for our sins.
Yes, Christmas is a great holiday because it celebrates the birth of Jesus...God becoming man. It's certainly an awesome event and should be celebrated. But Easter to me is just so powerful. We celebrate the fact that Jesus ROSE FROM THE DEAD after DYING FOR OUR SINS!!!
Yes, Easter has also become slightly commercialized, but it's not even close to what has become of Christmas. We dedicate a whole month to Christmas (and it seems like we start celebrating earlier every year)
Anyway, like I said, I'm tired and I've kinda lost my train of thought but the bottom line is...Christmas is great but let's not forget about Easter...and let's try to remember Jesus at Christmas instead of focusing on the presents
peace
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| I've been seeing recently how complete God's plan is. At the beginning of this year, God was doing some great things in my life and He was becoming the center of my life again and I was experiencing some of His blessings. But even then there were some loose ends...nothing big just tiny little aspects of my life that were left "undone" so to speak. But God is really showing me that He is a God who will fully bless us not just half-heatedly. and that He really does fulfill the desires of our heart.
One example is that after the infamous breakup, I was upset because while we were together we would often go to New Orleans for the day and I really enjoyed that. I like the city and I liked going to museums and the aquarium and walking on the River Walk. It wasn't a huge deal but after we broke up that meant no more road trips. I'm not gonna go by myself and I really don't like going without a guy or a large group of people.
Well this semester Angela was talking about going to UNO and she just recently got accepted. And I got chills when I realized that God remembered the longing in my heart for a reason to go there and that it is fulfilled. The simple act of Angela going to UNO will be a great blessing to her, but the blessing will also spill over and bless other people (like it has me)
Like I said, it's not a huge deal, but God remembered me and was able to fit me in His plan. He will give us the desires of our heart, no matter how small. And the fact that he remembered and was able to open up one door that blesses me and Angela (and I'm sure many more) just prooves this. It's great to think about...makes you realize how important the sheep are to the shepherd.
So this was partly to share my joy and partly to spread joy to others...that God WILL give you the desires of your heart...think about all those things you've wanted since you were young, things that you have hoped for all your life...He will give it to you.
One thing I've always wanted is twins. From a young age I was always fascinated by twins. If I ever saw twins, I just couldn't take my eyes off them. This gives me hope that because God knows that that is a desire of my heart, one day He will provide.
Other than that, I can't think of any big things my heart desires (other than a good husband). I have minor things (that I'm sure He will take care of as well) but it's nothing life changing. So far this year, He's already provided some of the major desires I had in my heart. One being good, healthy relationships with girlfriends. Before, I did have girlfriends, but they weren't good for me to have. I had never had that solid relationship that was beneficial to both parties and wasn't clouded up with drama. A long time ago (my second semester here) I was quite lonely. Mrs. Kathy prayed over me one night and could tell that and she said that she saw me crying but that God would provide close friendships for me. I went over a year without that coming to pass and I was very worried that God had forgotten me, but I've seen this semester that that's totally not true. God hadn't forgotten me, He was simply preparing me and getting His timing right.
GOD IS GOOD
PEACE OUT
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